So It’s been nearly 6 months since my last post – I guess you could say I’ve been neglecting my blogging commitments, But I’m guessing that’s the effect of actively working and effectively searching for the backdoor to a job.
Yeah that’s a sidetrack for another day. What I really wanted to share with the world was this term I stumbled across known as an “Inappropriate Relationship”.
What is it?
How can it Develop?
When can it Occur?
I’ve yet to find a solid answer for these, but if I’m honest with You (and Myself), It’s actually quite simple.
What is it?
Well. for context, I’m sure in Your lifetime You’ve met someone you believe to be “The One”, right down to the gut instinct and firmest belief You will at some point Marry this individual, (And if you haven’t, those thoughts have might just crossed your mind)
What If; at some point – This person You thought you know, and believe in every facet has shown their true colours; has discovered themselves over the course of this “Relationship”.
What If; You make every effort on a daily basis a thing… draining you of not only your Livelihood, But comes with the risk of setting your very Soul on fire..
You’ve done everything, You cut back on an activity, You changed what you said, or how you’ve said it, You yourself have changed (Red Flag!!)
And yet – nothing’s changed; but everything’s changed. Like a Windows 10 Rollback to a terrible Restore Point – you’ve noticed all these changes unfold now becoming undone by something, someone or like a click in the brain it’s gone like a switch of a light.
How Can It Develop?
I think for the extra context – in my case it was a life changing experience that solidified my false sense of security – that “Things were OK” It was an easy trap – I’m very much a Lover and a person of positivity like many others.
In reality, there were a lot of things that needed to be discussed about, contested, argued and debated on, it’s a total Myth that couples don’t have arguments, in fact – it’s an outright Lie.
Every argument you have with your significant other brings you closer to common ground
The things that you put your (supposed) significant other clears the way for a greater and more equal compromise. That’s a known fact.
When can it Occur?
I really haven’t got an answer for this – It can happen at any stage in life, in love, any time, If you know yourself that you are a confident loving individual which you should never doubt yourself on then the only “possible When” – is When someone decides on taking advantage of that fact and intends to use you, for whatever reason play with you like a toy and in the end, Break. You. Down.
This is a harsh truth since we can easily lie to ourselves, ensnare others in this act and still create an illusional sense of security.
Was It Enough?
Perhaps at the time things were great, or You thought they were great, (For Them – maybe, or maybe it was Hell and They decided to hide that one important truth from You)
Maybe it took a third party to point out all the wrongs in Your life and take a stance that (significant other’s name) has done nothing wrong.
Maybe it took a third party to take control, to manipulate your sense of security for their own benefit. There is no real answer for Enough – the word alone is subjective, and in comparison to certain timeframes and acts – It could well have been “enough” and others wanted more..
The last one I think is missing is dealing with it –
No matter what others tell you, you can always improve who you are, take the good with the bad, if there just happens to be a bad response with something you did or someone else did, apologise and forgive, get it over with, work on what you did wrong or learn to tolerate and live with it, the second part is move on, it may take weeks, months or years before you start building up on yourself but that you will be the best you.