Lovely Evening tonight all
I’ve been tossing this one in my head for a good long while now, possibly close to over a year, and I’ve been wondering, Where have I been this whole time, Where did I go, Where was I while time passed me by and everything flashed before my eyes and suddenly, I’m beside this Rock and a Hard Place.
That’s the exact word for it… AUTOPILOT, the best analogy I can think of is the movie “Click” – working the everyday, weird stranger hands you a remote in a mattress shop and BOOM! You fast-forward your life away, little by little the remote takes control and hits the FF button again, and again, and again and then suddenly – it’s over – You’ve realised that everything you did, you can’t remember straight, or whether you did it right, wrong, could it have been better.
Who were You?
You were the “You” that tailored to the people around you, their wants, needs, their expectations, their standards, You weren’t yourself… no matter how you see it, You were tucked away in the corners of your mind while the Life Controller had you on FF, the way to see it for autopilot to engage, The people around you have to be completely different to You and contest every detail of Your aspiration, Your dreams – what You want from Life, and then repress You towards this “You” they have in their minds which then rumbles your Life Controller something manic!!!
It’s a complete mystery how I come to this line of thought, it’s abstract but accurate, detailed but broad, it’s neither true, nor false but almost completely relatable.
When speaking from experience, I can’t say for certain, Who I was, but the Me that was there was diligent, hard working and extremely motivated, when it came to being the adult, autopilot engaged and took me places where I didn’t feel in control,
When I did listen to people, it took me down places and no doubt made me feel like a terrible person that needed to change.
I took up alot of hobbies and kept busy with progressing academically
It didn’t defeat the symptoms of anxiety and stress albeit over thoughts of having a seizure in an open space, and when no option given, such as – A NEED TO GO SHOPPING – it became a matter of urgency over menial thoughts..
This is where I started reading health topics and relaxation exercises to learning about stress management and dealing with autism as part of the daily routine and coping techniques for the build-up, 8 years is a long time to be on autopilot. and when it’s been on and off in the past, gives a person a fair preview as to what the damages can curtail.
If you think you’re on autopilot, switch off for a moment, relax everything and think – am I ok with the world – an autopiloted [individual] would detest, avoid, almost hate the world, then you know whether you’re safe!
Don’t get caught AUTOPILOT-ing
I had to make this a rule for my own benefit and for anyone reading this Mental Health.
follow this link and see what You’re missing, If 24 Hours to Positive Living is only half fulfilled then you’re on the borderline warning flags for autopilot-ing.
Don’t let Time slip you by.. People can Come and Go, but Time.. Time is gone forever..