So, I’m kinda sitting here in front of the keyboard asking myself, where am I.
I’ve put my few months down to an identity crisis, and have beaten it the best I can… It’s all anyone can do, You included.
A few days ago, I flicked through my journal and found myself thinking about a place, in the irrational sense of the word place, somewhere that exists, that doesn’t exist, confusing right?
and with making the jump to Game Design and Development (reminder to self to fix math errors on the “Attempted” Game Dev tutorials..) It seems to have found it’s way to this “Social Place”.
where maybe, just maybe – back in 2014, I’ve come to think, I did my best, I studied and burned the candle at both ends, and found myself in hospital twice in the space of a year, that’s not normal!!!
I’ve come to think, I was lucky to make it past the first semester, Computer Science at that level was borderline insanity! such to the extent that if you didn’t already know it, you were in deep trouble and already behind.
I believed, that if you tried something and you gave it your all, there was no reason for failure, never anticipating that other people can be the cause of your failure.
For the first time in nearly 5 years, I have felt confidence somewhere, I have felt the trust (in myself) to be able to accomplish a task, and in myself
Which is where “Social Place” comes in:… I have never talked.. ever, I was the quiet one, what I did was shut up and focus, I tried the opposite in 2014 as part of a Personal Development plan and it felt like I was speaking martian, could of lived there, I was treated like one, student body and Lecturers alike!!!
Doing what I do now was my form of social contact, I didn’t want friends, friends take time, Possibly one of my biggest mistakes now living in the cotton wool generation and now one of my biggest obstacle is making friends, is talking, compromising. but at the same time saying no…
This is really just another bookmark for myself (like anyone reads these anyway)
That maybe you need someone just to say, you’re doing a good job, and if you are. give yourself a mental break, just relax and let the good times flow.
let the doubts fade, give yourself the benefit of the doubt, that you are on a good course and heading towards success, you’ll find out it’ll work in effective ways than one.
If you’re here reading this, GOOD JOB, just in case no one else has said it.