2am, Awake and in a low. A million reasons come to mind, but one in-particular constantly surfaces.
The word, Forgiveness. What it is, The impact it can have on the mind, the body and the soul, The very meaning of Forgiveness.
How I came up for this topic, I really can’t explain, it’s neither the time or place, but it involves a lot of people, new and old and a very familiar social activity that should be both fun and relaxing instead of hostile and confrontational.
The best way to explain is just to be flat out about it, about this time last year I invited a few individuals to said familiar activity as a positive distraction from the daily bordoms of spare time and unproductive hours of the mornings, at first it was fun, everyone was having a good time, then it complicated itself with a good group of friends and a handful of unsavory individuals. I don’t bother for unsavory types, regardless what it is they think they accomplish, I switch off, or I go to other areas, or other activities, it’s a simple solution.
Whatever happens is none of my business. This unfortunately wasn’t something I had prepared for,
A case of “in the wrong place at the wrong time”, and suddenly I’m one of the few stuck in the middle,
I was pissed, the implentation was undeniably unbiased; So many factors that could of gone wrong, went wrong. When given advice and it only half-heard/ half listened is something I nearly never tolerate, ever. period, it’s a saving Grace I don’t go from 0 to self-destruct mode when it does happen.
After everything that had happened, I stopped joining in on anything that was planned, I did my own thing and assumed other people would do the same and (somewhat hopeful) others we’re going to start discussing the precarious situation and the events that had occurred, it never happened, instead – chinese whispers, doxxing, slander and delusions…
The whole point is – Forgiveness can be Weak and powerful. If you lack the ability to forgive you can’t allow others to forgive you on your misgivings. it’s a simple and basic fundamental logic. This is what makes Forgiveness weak. the LACK of Forgiveness is it’s weakness, and in that weakness you allow a world of unhealthy possibilities, anger, resentment, self-doubt all have a front door to your mind.
The Art of Forgiveness is a wonderful thing, You can move past things without being (totally) hung up on how things happened, why, or even who was really responsible. Leave it alone, Let it Go, unless it’s something that is actively affecting you now or has dramatically altered how you live your life then consider thinking of what you still have, or what you can still accomplish through Forgiving.
Forgiveness is NOT a weakness, it’s a POWERFUL ally, the second you think about it, and how it in some possible way, unavoidable – it becomes a state of fiction, a fact – there was nothing that everyone involved could have done any differently to change the result. If it was something that was eventually going to happen, then maybe that’s how it is. Life can lay traps like it everywhere.. Switch gears and keep going.
I also know it’s been a while since the last post, let’s just say a few months without the Internet is good for the soul and maybe some actual “down” time may just be the thing you need… In the worst case that you’ve actually read this far, maybe take 15 minutes, and think about what it is you want out of life and what you want your future to be…
It always sounds stupid to me writing these posts thinking they can help but in reality, it’s taking a page out the back of my mind, and doing a literally cut, copy and paste in one go – it never used to work this well but I can always say Stranger Things have happened :3
Time for a hot drink and some sleep.
If you need the same, you should probably do the same 🙂
So It’s been nearly 6 months since my last post – I guess you could say I’ve been neglecting my blogging commitments, But I’m guessing that’s the effect of actively working and effectively searching for the backdoor to a job.
Yeah that’s a sidetrack for another day. What I really wanted to share with the world was this term I stumbled across known as an “Relationship without Foundation”.
What is it?
How can it Develop?
When can it Occur?
I’ve yet to find a solid answer for these, but if I’m honest with You (and Myself), It’s actually quite simple.
What is it?
Well. for context, I’m sure in Your lifetime You’ve met someone you believe to be “The One”, right down to the gut instinct and firmest belief You will at some point Marry this individual, (And if you haven’t, those thoughts have might just crossed your mind)
What If; at some point – This person You thought you know, and believe in every facet has shown their true colours; has discovered themselves over the course of this “Relationship”.
What If; You make every effort on a daily basis a thing… draining you of not only your Livelihood, But comes with the risk of setting your very Soul on fire..
You’ve done everything, You cut back on an activity, You changed what you said, or how you’ve said it, You yourself have changed (Red Flag!!)
And yet – nothing’s changed; but everything’s changed. Like a Windows 10 Rollback to a terrible Restore Point – you’ve noticed all these changes unfold now becoming undone by something, someone or like a click in the brain it’s gone like a switch of a light.
How Can It Develop?
I think for the extra context – in my case it was a life changing experience that solidified my false sense of security – that “Things were OK” It was an easy trap – I’m very much a Lover and a person of positivity like many others.
In reality, there were a lot of things that needed to be discussed about, contested, argued and debated on, it’s a total Myth that couples don’t have arguments, in fact – it’s an outright Lie.
Every argument you have with your significant other brings you closer to common ground
The things that you put your (supposed) significant other clears the way for a greater and more equal compromise. That’s a known fact.
When can it Occur?
I really haven’t got an answer for this – It can happen at any stage in life, in love, any time, If you know yourself that you are a confident loving individual which you should never doubt yourself on then the only “possible When” – is When someone decides on taking advantage of that fact and intends to use you, for whatever reason play with you like a toy and in the end, Break. You. Down.
This is a harsh truth since we can easily lie to ourselves, ensnare others in this act and still create an illusional sense of security.
Was It Enough?
Perhaps at the time things were great, or You thought they were great, (For Them – maybe, or maybe it was Hell and They decided to hide that one important truth from You)
Maybe it took a third party to point out all the wrongs in Your life and take a stance that (significant other’s name) has done nothing wrong.
Maybe it took a third party to take control, to manipulate your sense of security for their own benefit. There is no real answer for Enough – the word alone is subjective, and in comparison to certain timeframes and acts – It could well have been “enough” and others wanted more..
The last one I think is missing is dealing with it –
No matter what others tell you, you can always improve who you are, take the good with the bad, if there just happens to be a bad response with something you did or someone else did, apologise and forgive, get it over with, work on what you did wrong or learn to tolerate and live with it, the second part is move on, it may take weeks, months or years before you start building up on yourself but that you will be the best you.
Sitting here in the hall ways of time itself, a campus building of white walls and blue hallways I see the shadow of a hypocrite, I see the source of all the problems and the clear path to the exit and solution
Today I repressed myself, the first time for ignoring myself, the second for ignoring the situation and the third for hesitating.
Keep your friends close but your enemies closer – anon
Today I handed money to a person I genuinely have lost respect for, but something prevented me from not stopping myself and I ask myself am I stupid, am I an enabler, am I just doing something nice or am I just being a good person.
A lot of that is really difficult to answer when you find yourself constantly reminding yourself how much of a terrible person you really are, and the multiple things in the past that you’ve done good and bad, that seemingly cancel each other out, you could almost say it’s the universe balancing itself out,
It feels strange almost hypocritical of me to think The universe can be pretty unfair, I can deal with unfair but people, they can be cruel. To be a cruel person you have to have intent to hurt people, you have to have a hole in your heart the size of your fist.
I’ve spent about half the day setting my head straight for the evening and I’m certain, there are people like me who will make sure to bring out your best, even if it means verbal warfare and passive aggressive post it notes ideally without – and that alone should be enough inspiration to make an attempt with people.
I maintain one thing – You always get treated by how you act..
Again more than usual, this is an open letter to myself, it’s my way of releasing the negative valve in my life, but to give the post some context and maybe give some people something to think about, just because your experiences have been terrible, it shouldn’t give you an excuse to be a terrible person, just because you are going through a terrible time, doesn’t give you an excuse to give other people a terrible time, just because you did something terrible to one person doesn’t mean other people should have to do the same terrible thing.
There are a lot of people that need to unplug themselves, leave to a quiet place and learn about themselves instead of disassociating themselves and those around them with irreversible behaviour that leads to mental disorders..
Get help, if this in any way offended you.. talk to a professional, this is writing from the heart and addressing the root of my problem, at the very least, do the same.
Of Mountains & Printing Presses
The goal of this new editor is to make adding rich content to WordPress simple and enjoyable. This whole post is composed of pieces of content—somewhat similar to LEGO bricks—that you can move around and interact with. Move your cursor around and you’ll notice the different blocks light up with outlines and arrows. Press the arrows to reposition blocks quickly, without fearing about losing things in the process of copying and pasting.
What you are reading now is a text block the most basic block of all. The text block has its own controls to be moved freely around the post…
… like this one, which is right aligned.
Headings are separate blocks as well, which helps with the outline and organization of your content.
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words
Handling images and media with the utmost care is a primary focus of the new editor. Hopefully, you’ll find aspects of adding captions or going full-width with your pictures much easier and robust than before.
Try selecting and removing or editing the caption, now you don’t have to be careful about selecting the image or other text by mistake and ruining the presentation.
The Inserter Tool
Imagine everything that WordPress can do is available to you quickly and in the same place on the interface. No need to figure out HTML tags, classes, or remember complicated shortcode syntax. That’s the spirit behind the inserter—the
(+) button you’ll see around the editor—which allows you to browse all available content blocks and add them into your post. Plugins and themes are able to register their own, opening up all sort of possibilities for rich editing and publishing.
Go give it a try, you may discover things WordPress can already add into your posts that you didn’t know about. Here’s a short list of what you can currently find there:
- Text & Headings
- Images & Videos
- Embeds, like YouTube, Tweets, or other WordPress posts.
- Layout blocks, like Buttons, Hero Images, Separators, etc.
- And Lists like this one of course 🙂
A huge benefit of blocks is that you can edit them in place and manipulate your content directly. Instead of having fields for editing things like the source of a quote, or the text of a button, you can directly change the content. Try editing the following quote:
The editor will endeavor to create a new page and post building experience that makes writing rich posts effortless, and has “blocks” to make it easy what today might take shortcodes, custom HTML, or “mystery meat” embed discovery.Matt Mullenweg, 2017
The information corresponding to the source of the quote is a separate text field, similar to captions under images, so the structure of the quote is protected even if you select, modify, or remove the source. It’s always easy to add it back.
Blocks can be anything you need. For instance, you may want to add a subdued quote as part of the composition of your text, or you may prefer to display a giant stylized one. All of these options are available in the inserter.
You can change the amount of columns in your galleries by dragging a slider in the block inspector in the sidebar.
If you combine the new wide and full-wide alignments with galleries, you can create a very media rich layout, very quickly:
Sure, the full-wide image can be pretty big. But sometimes the image is worth it.
The above is a gallery with just two images. It’s an easier way to create visually appealing layouts, without having to deal with floats. You can also easily convert the gallery back to individual images again, by using the block switcher.
Any block can opt into these alignments. The embed block has them also, and is responsive out of the box:
You can build any block you like, static or dynamic, decorative or plain. Here’s a pullquote block:
If you want to learn more about how to build additional blocks, or if you are interested in helping with the project, head over to the GitHub repository.
Thanks for testing Gutenberg!
Giving yourself a task to do is difficult, it exacerbates the notion of staying relaxed and results in negative thought patterns, “ugh I have to do the chores” and “ugh I have to do work” and “UGH I have the percolation assignment to do”
These are natural emotional responses to a natural dislike of a topic or subject,
Believe me – I have had my fair share of the “procrastinations” – the last minutes, the overdues, the long awaited.
But. There is nothing worse in the world than the guilt left behind on being reminded, the utter feeling of disappointment that is installed after thinking “I had all that time”, “I could have just done it”, “Why did I need reminding?”.
Take a breather. and Think for a second.
Here, I’m hoping you will have found some form of an answer, or at least formulated a question that can lead to one.
1. What Causes Procrastination?
Procrastination is the lack of motivation to start, or finish a task, whether it’s house work, school work or just over-all adulting – You can procrastinate on the smallest thing without ever realising it.
Need the bathroom? Stop procrastinating and go.
2. How can I avoid Procrastinating?
Really, Honest response, you can’t – You can always catch yourself in the act before it’s too late and then respond to the misdeed *silent judgment intensifies*.
But to avoid giving procrastination a reason to slip into your day-to-day,
Clean your House/Room – uuuhhh OK? UwU
Any philosopher, therapist, counselor will say the same thing,
Your house is like your mind, if your home is a mess, so is your mind.
Retain Law and Order – that sounds difficult I’m not a specials victim |: /
Welllppbecause it is difficult… If you’re Single, you’re out there, on your own – and you invest your time in yourself and your interests and those of your friends.
Be Productive – how productive is productive?
Interests.. an Interest can be productive or unproductive, can you play an instrument for example , if not? Why not >_>
Are you a designer? an Artist? a Developer?
Is there some concrete thing in your spare time that you ALSO enjoy doing that you COULD be doing instead of __________ , where this blank is the first interest that clicked that is eating away at your spare time.
Reward Yourself – rewards are nice, but what’s the quest!
Let’s play a currency game, multiply 24 by 60 you should get 1440, and subtract the number of hours you firmly believe are spent sleeping (10 min), doing daily tasks (2), then travelling (0-3), shopping(1-2), school(6-8), college(8-10), assignments(3-5) etc, then subtract the number of hours participating in an activity without any productivity by 60 from that number.
This number represents your money minutes, and they are worth alot, I mean ALOT.
You probably only have about 300 money minutes per day taking all that into account
Say you decide on playing a Game for an hour, that’s cool.. but at some level it needs gauging between emotional release and a question of productivity. Shouldn’t you be Studying??
Yes, Yes I should be, but this makes it the perfect opportunity to show an example of productively spending money minutes on something I enjoy to do.
Spend no more than 60 money minutes and it deserves a reward
I genuinely Turn a profit, by constantly getting things done that need doing, I’ve discovered that I have extra money minutes lying around.. 30 here, 120 there, and suddenly I have all this time that I don’t know what to do with..
On some off days I find I’m short, mainly because of the mess in the place or I’m just feeling a little more tiring than usual, perfectly normal for me, isn’t nice, but still I find ways.
Create a distraction Free environment, a computer at a table is all you need, putting games away, consoles, etc. ban yourself. they are considered distractions, phones, apps, web browsers, after this last line close chrome,firefox/ other generic browser…
don’t be literal with your minutes – you are essentially just time keeping, and housekeeping your mind, and there’s nothing wrong with that..
GamesCom 2018, at a press conference hosted by nVidia’s finest in anticipation of their next generation technology. It revealed among the GeForce RTX 2070 ($500 USD), RTX 2080 ($700), and high market – RTX 2080 Ti ($1000), all of which will release on September 20, 2018.
They also flaunted their recent iteration of nVidia raytracing rendering software – as RTX Ray Tracing, with various trailers from Star Wars and Battlefield V showing phenomenal jumps in both visual appeal and realistic representation of ray tracing.
There are both Rendered Scene trailers such as Battlefield V and Star Wars with help from YouTube (links below)
And a Real Time Demo of Shadow of The Tomb Raider.
Although with some Social skepticism on various Facebook outlets, Some believe that this should be running at 60fps at 4k (1080 x 4) if not running at “a higher fps to cleanse any anomolies like sparkling, or ants”, Other notable comments mentioned the entry prices and the likelihood of influence from crypto-currencies inflating market prices ($500/ £399/€459 as a starting price for an entry level graphic’s card genuinely sounds steep!)
With the announcement – The RTX 20xx series came under scrutiny after a benchmark test was performed on the GOTTR and could not perform ray tracing at 4k as an optimum target resolution at 60fps and many valid suggestions implied that the advertised 50% increased speed to the 1080Ti is an exaggeration of capability and that even with optimum settings an on-average : 30% maximum with optimisation would be a realistic expectation.
My Thoughts : Given it’s specification and it’s predecessor’s specification. This is a case of GDDR5 vs GDDR6 with how ray tracing is performed and implemented, if it is physically calculated using GPU resources it will take Gigabits in memory bandwidth..
The significant difference in bandwidth then between GDDR5 and 6 is voided by software calculations justifying a lot of scrutiny which could have been avoided with an additional core that could do the calculations without loss of framerate or bandwidth hogging.
I think this is an important post for alot of parents that have autism children, not only because it’s a struggle and a strain on relationships, but because of the general understanding of what is going on inside an autism child’s mind – ticking a pound (lb) to a dozen – (12 lb = 1 dozen lbs for those curious), I (Personally) – call them “The Wiggles” – that unforseen moment where any child is peak to a nuclear meltdown but doesn’t understand what is genuinely happening!!! Continue reading
Lovely Evening tonight all
I’ve been tossing this one in my head for a good long while now, possibly close to over a year, and I’ve been wondering, Where have I been this whole time, Where did I go, Where was I while time passed me by and everything flashed before my eyes and suddenly, I’m beside this Rock and a Hard Place.